My roomate is a Liar

Ripanka Kalita my friend, my roommate – You Assameeseee. How to pronounce your name? I am sure nobody in akka Bombay can pronounce it rightly, including you. I know that you told few people in our office (sorry your office) I’ve gone mad and talking to myself when I am alone. Only half the story you told the world is true. I thought I will prove you and the guys who believed you that I wasn’t talking alone but with my cute Girl Friend. I know you are fuming inside I can smell that from our room. I thought of hiding it from you and the world but you’ve pushed me too far and I have to prove my point. After a long request she agreed to pose for me. Unlike your Girlfriends she is a shy type.

Beautiful she looks right? Now Pls don’t get jealous and don’t think that she will ever love you. Like me even she hates smokers, sleepers, and miserable creatures.
You think you are better than me because you have Girl Friends and can speak Hindi better than me- I agree my Hindi sucks but I can speak better Tamil. I am sure you will be terrible if you try it. Oops sorry I was proving you that I am not jealous because you have Girl Friends. Why should I get jealous? You think I am jealous because you have many Girl Friends and I never had any. You are wrong Mr. Kalita you are very wrong. If I tell you the number of Girl Friends I had in my village, sorry town, sorry again, in my CITY Coimbatore you will go mad. If you look at them I am sure you will find ‘Bipasha Basu’ less interesting. They were all so Beautiful. F**K! Why should I lie? F**K YOU- ya its true I never had any Girlfriend. Lets not talk about that.
Hmm. Lets talk about your miserable writing skills. I don’t understand who and why they gave you the job at Leo. I wouldn’t have given you the job even if you would’ve agreed to work for free. Your writing SUCKS! Nobody takes words seriously today. You know it. Don’t disagree with me. It is a visual world. Very soon you will find ads without copy, branding, logo, visuals, mandatories etc. etc. Better learn some Art it might help you. Oops! sorry, Nobody can teach Art. I know you have an option of getting married to one of the rich chicks you are seeing. All the best.
I haven’t told you about my new Girl Friend ('Chick' –she fits the term better than any of your ugly looking Girl Friends). She has got a beautiful voice and she sings for me. Her voice is sweeter than your GF’s voice. The difference is she wakes me up at 7 every morning. You wake your chick at 3 in the evening. Unlike yours my chick doesn’t disturb me at 2 AM. My chick never gets jealous if I look at other chicks. My chick loves me ‘Truly, Madly, Deeply’. She doesn’t mind my complexion being dark. She says I have a ‘FAIR HEART’. She never asks me to go out and buy cigarettes and Red Wine for her. She is happy with the food I give her. She eats what I cook and brings her friends with her to eat. She doesn’t make fun of me for my ‘Madarasi accent’ we speak God’s language. So I am not insane. I am not ... ... not.. everything you say I am to the world. I am sure you will never understand it, not even in your next six births.