RATS EVERYWHERE

The school kids -sorry the RATS in my building really piss me off by calling me ‘UNCLE’. So I warned them not to call me uncle, and this black rat who hates me to death went and drew a picture of me on the entrance of my building which I didn’t actually notice it for couple of days. Suddenly the RATS shouted from the ground floor saying there is a picture of me on the wall. I was so curious and went down to see it. I got a shock.

I don't look this bad. Now I am bribing few good rats to find out the BLACK RAT. [I love both his courage and art- I have to gift him a sketch book or something.] The RATS are there EVERYHERE.

how to catch an octopus?

If you are a veggie like me and like to have an octopus

pretty simple catch.

left it back in water.

Why I dumped my business card?

Why? Not because my Sindhi friend Nikhil who eloped from our country thinks I should be a loony to carry a card like this.
I am fundamentally an idealist. The truth is this card sounds arrogant and egotistic. It shows my unwillingness to serve which is the integral purpose of any business. I have inner values, but this is not me. I’ve have strong intuitive sense, it says this is wrong.

Announcing the world

Hundred people suggested hundred names. It is a fashion to keep a fashionable name to your business. I am not into fashion business. I listened to everyone because you are expected to listen. Majority were the ones who have never ventured out on their own at any point in their lives. So naturally I ignored all of them. Though few name suggestions came from people whom I admire and respect in my field, none of the names made any sense to me. A good name for namesake is like marrying a girl because she looks beautiful. The real question is ‘Will you be in love with her even if she loses all the beauty and charm tomorrow?’ Bad metaphor, but that is how I see my Design Agency. She is my dream. Now I am married to her. It is an Indian Marriage. I will love her blindly irrespective of her looks today, irrespective of the life’s situations tomorrow. I will not leave her till I die. Her name is ‘REPUBLICA’.

My roomate is a Liar

Ripanka Kalita my friend, my roommate – You Assameeseee. How to pronounce your name? I am sure nobody in akka Bombay can pronounce it rightly, including you. I know that you told few people in our office (sorry your office) I’ve gone mad and talking to myself when I am alone. Only half the story you told the world is true. I thought I will prove you and the guys who believed you that I wasn’t talking alone but with my cute Girl Friend. I know you are fuming inside I can smell that from our room. I thought of hiding it from you and the world but you’ve pushed me too far and I have to prove my point. After a long request she agreed to pose for me. Unlike your Girlfriends she is a shy type.

Beautiful she looks right? Now Pls don’t get jealous and don’t think that she will ever love you. Like me even she hates smokers, sleepers, and miserable creatures.
You think you are better than me because you have Girl Friends and can speak Hindi better than me- I agree my Hindi sucks but I can speak better Tamil. I am sure you will be terrible if you try it. Oops sorry I was proving you that I am not jealous because you have Girl Friends. Why should I get jealous? You think I am jealous because you have many Girl Friends and I never had any. You are wrong Mr. Kalita you are very wrong. If I tell you the number of Girl Friends I had in my village, sorry town, sorry again, in my CITY Coimbatore you will go mad. If you look at them I am sure you will find ‘Bipasha Basu’ less interesting. They were all so Beautiful. F**K! Why should I lie? F**K YOU- ya its true I never had any Girlfriend. Lets not talk about that.
Hmm. Lets talk about your miserable writing skills. I don’t understand who and why they gave you the job at Leo. I wouldn’t have given you the job even if you would’ve agreed to work for free. Your writing SUCKS! Nobody takes words seriously today. You know it. Don’t disagree with me. It is a visual world. Very soon you will find ads without copy, branding, logo, visuals, mandatories etc. etc. Better learn some Art it might help you. Oops! sorry, Nobody can teach Art. I know you have an option of getting married to one of the rich chicks you are seeing. All the best.
I haven’t told you about my new Girl Friend ('Chick' –she fits the term better than any of your ugly looking Girl Friends). She has got a beautiful voice and she sings for me. Her voice is sweeter than your GF’s voice. The difference is she wakes me up at 7 every morning. You wake your chick at 3 in the evening. Unlike yours my chick doesn’t disturb me at 2 AM. My chick never gets jealous if I look at other chicks. My chick loves me ‘Truly, Madly, Deeply’. She doesn’t mind my complexion being dark. She says I have a ‘FAIR HEART’. She never asks me to go out and buy cigarettes and Red Wine for her. She is happy with the food I give her. She eats what I cook and brings her friends with her to eat. She doesn’t make fun of me for my ‘Madarasi accent’ we speak God’s language. So I am not insane. I am not ... ... not.. everything you say I am to the world. I am sure you will never understand it, not even in your next six births.

God is a Sexist

Recently my friend called me a ‘sexist’. Usually I don’t give a jack S**T about what others think. But the term ‘sexist’ made me conscious this time.
You are called ‘sexist’ if you talk about the difference between men and women.
You are called ‘sexist’ if you think women are not men.
You are called ‘sexist’ if you say you are attracted to women with feminine qualities.
You are called ‘sexist’ if you believe women are soft.
You are called ‘sexist’ if you are a man naturally.

In today’s terms almost all men are sexists. There is a group of idiots who preach the modern women why they should hate and blame men for all the misery’s in the world. They waste all their energy teaching women how to become men. If you are a women who blindly accepted their teachings and never questioned their motives I feel sorry for you. It may be fashionable to pretend that there is no difference between men and women. But always question the ‘Men haters’ motives. A simple ‘Why?’ might save you from these sick people.

I believe women are superior to men in certain ways; they are stronger than men in certain areas; they are greater than men in certain fields. They are strong being soft. I respect the difference. You can pretend it doesn’t exist. The ‘DIFFERENCE’ is what makes women so attractive. Life is beautiful because of our lack of understanding of our opposite sexes. Women are beautiful because they are our opposites. World would be an uninspiring place without them.
If you are a feminist and hate men for being men I think you should hate God.